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Krampus: The Devil Returns (2016)

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1/10: Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear
Monday, January 2, 2017

Oh boy, where to start with this one. Well after our review of the first Krampus by Jason Hull, we promised that we would review the upcoming sequel. We wish we hadn't but there you have it, at least you can skip this abysmal rubbish and save precious ours of your life doing something more interesting, like drilling your eyeballs out or maybe pulling your toenails off.Five years after the tragic events of the first film (Krampus: The Christmas Devil - See review), our hero Jeremy Duffin (A.J. Leslie, complete with terrible fake beard) is brought back to the force by his old captain Farabee (Goteri). It would seem that Santa and Krampus are up to their old tricks and kidnapping naughty children again (no half-naked nubile girls for Krampus this year though, perhaps he was naughty too).We then see Santa actually playing as a store Santa at a local store where one particular naughty child...

1/10: Hollywood does it again! And not in the good way
Monday, October 10, 2016

Honest to GOD, I wish I could give this a rating of negative stars. I would seriously give it a negative five.Spoilers ahead! So beware.Lets first get to why I HATE HATE HATE this movie so much. The acting is meh, the plot of the original Krampus movie (did you think we'd forget that?) is completely thrown in the garbage for this turd, and seriously, who was in charge of audio production? Fire them, out a cannon, into the sun, please. Would it have killed you to refine the voices picked up by the mics? Original Krampus movie: Kid is ticked off by family being family (a-holes), so he tears up a letter to Santa in a rage, and throws it out his window. Apparently doing this summons the anti-Santa, the Krampus. The Krampus of that movie was a truly terrifying monster, with toy monsters and everything. Excellent movie.This Krampus movie: Garbage. No toy...

1/10: Add value to your life and skip this film
Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Now, I haven't seen the precursor and based on the sequel, I don't want to. So I was impressed by the total amateurish quality. The sound, oh my aching ears the sound was so horrible, the deaf guys in my audio engineering program were so much better. The acting, what can I say, there wasn't any. Well, the Santa character was okay. Not your Macy's Santa, almost Bad Santa cool. But what can we expect from Krampus' brother? Have I ruined it for you yet, which actually adds value to you. Krampus looked like Frank from Donnie Darko. About as scary as Krampus:The Reckoning's Krampus, okay, no. Heck not even as scary as Frank. All in all, I could do as well with an iPhone and iMovie

1/10: Cringey and hard to watch
Thursday, February 13, 2020

How in the world did somebody film this and think, "yeah this is good, let's put it out" dude, my nine year old could've done a better title screen, wtf was the fog??? what is going on in these peoples heads when they're putting all of this together lmao. at first I was like, is this a parody? like there's no way that somebody made this and thought it was good afterwards. the camera angles are so bad. bad directing. awful production. the acting is the worst part. I mean listen- I love a good b movie. but this is just..so unbelieveably bad I honestly want to go throw the whole thing in my firepit and try to wipe it out of my brain forever

1/10: Simple horrible
Sunday, February 5, 2017

Three words ''Low budget SH*T'' this is a horrible movie, with an awful scrip, an awful colorization, awful effects, don't waste your time watching this. At first time I thought this was the second part of the first Krampus movie, but it's not, this is the typical project of some guys, who were scratching their balls, and decided to do something with their lives, so they did this. Also the shots are disgusting, you almost feel the breathe of the actors in your screen, the shots are way TOO close. I just took five minutes on seeing this, and that's way more than it deserves. I think it should be a crime to do such lame versions of very good movies

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