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31 (2016)

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5/10: Another Zombie Letdown
Wednesday, October 19, 2016

As so many others, I too was excited about "31" and could not wait to finally watch it. Maybe it was that high expectations, that was part of my disappointment, but I am not willed to explain everything that was wrong in the movie with that premise.I have to say, before I write about the movie itself, that I never shared the opinion of those, who see Rob Zombie basically as the horror messiah, who will reinvent the genre. He basically had 2 good movies (Devil's Rejects, Halloween), all other movies were pretty bad. House of 1000 Corpses was a ridiculously bad B-movie, Halloween 2 was bad even for a film school student, and those few parts that were good in Lords of Salem were copied from other movies. First Halloween reboot was only good, because he had a rich franchise with tons of information to build on.He gets the look every time, I'll give...

2/10: A Rob Zombie fan no more
Thursday, September 1, 2016

To start off, I have loved previous Zombie films. House of 1000 Corpses and Devils Rejects were at one point two of my favorite films. With that said, this film is just bad. I just came from the Fathom Events and was so disappointed by this movie I opened this account just to write this review. There are numerous things this movie lacks and going into this film I did not expect a masterpiece, but instead good ol bloody fun. Sadly, the blood could not save this film.We find ourselves with a simple plot revolving 5 individuals forced to play a game called "31". They must fight to survive the night and win the game. The killers have a clown based appearance making for what appears to be a fun ride.After the premise is revealed the film immediately goes down hill. To start off no character development is really made with both the survivors or villains of the...

8/10: Not "good", but lots of fun
Friday, July 19, 2019

Let's get two things straight right off the bat - 1) if you're watching this, you probably know who made this movie. You probably know what to expect. 2) this is not rob zombie's best. This is not close to his best. So that's been established, and now we have to look at this movie within the context of a not particularly good rob zombie movie. The result is, quite frankly, an incredibly entertaining mess. Rob's typical characteristics are present; ridiculous characters, terrible acting (especially from Sherri Moon, like usual), juvenile humor, unnecessary nudity, and lots of blood. You've got your 5 generic, flat characters, the "survivors", who are dropped in a generic "survive for 12 hours while people try to murder you" situation. The fun here comes from the 6 "heads" who are sent to kill these guys - you've got a perverted Latino Nazi midget, two perverted psychotic clowns, a giant German guy...

7/10: In Hell everybody loves popcorn
Friday, April 1, 2016

Here are a couple of things that must have gone through Rob Zombie's mind whilst shooting 31: "Who needs a plot when you got a psychopathic Nazi-midget?", "Who gives a damn about plausibility when you have Malcolm McDowell himself dressed up like a French Aristocrat and depicting a character that is named Father Murder?" and "Why would I make ambitious when the crowd simply wants sadistic & graphic violence?" And you know what? If Rob Zombie really was thinking these things, he was damn right! Personally, I'm an enormous fan of Zombie's "House of 1,000 Corpses" and "The Devil's Rejects" and I remotely enjoyed his remake of "Halloween", even though the critics were quite harsh about it. But then he suddenly went psychedelic and experimental with "Halloween II" and "The Lords of Salem" and many fans – yours truly included – were disappointed. I, for one, was extremely happy to read that, with "31", Rob Zombie would...

3/10: Send In The Clowns
Saturday, October 1, 2016

I dig Rob Zombie films. Devils Rejects, the Halloween reboots, Lords of Salem all personal favorites. So much so that I contributed $150 to the crowd funding of 31. It was promised to be the movie RZ wanted to make as well as the movie he thought his fans wanted to see - an unapologetic and uncompromising slaughter-fest. Well, I finally watched 31 last night and unfortunately it does compromise and it isn't even much of a slaughter-fest. It's simply another "we-kidnapped-some-innocent-people-for-the-purpose-of-torturing-them" retread. And not a very good one at that. I'm bummed.There are certainly moments that make 31 worth watching. But those moments just aren't enough to make it a good movie. Much of the criticism of 31 has been directed at the lack of character development. My comment to that is "who cares?". This is a movie where I wanted to sink...

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