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The Expendables 3 (2014)

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6/10: Needs to be seen on...
Thursday, August 14, 2014

Needs to be seen on the big screen, but the bluray release will be a better movie Continuing my plan to watch every Sly movie in order, I come to Expendables 3.Plot In A Paragraph: Barney Ross (Sly) disbands The Expendables and signs up some new blood to take down arms dealer Conrad Stonebanks (Mel Gibson) Expendables 3 is certainly action packed and while there is plenty hand to hand knockabout and a lot of people die, but they either quickly fall bloodlessly, or it's all off screen (a lot of quick cut aways) with a PG13 rating there is no viewing of the actual carnage. For me Snipes owned the beginning of the movie, (but then seemed to have been forgotten about the rest of the movie) Grammar kept things moving a long nicely during the recruiting section. Then Banderas walks away with the movie in the final third. If the character of Doc (Snipes) had been...

4/10: Who is this movie even...
Monday, August 4, 2014

Who is this movie even for? The Expendables series was supposed to be bring back the thrills of the great 80s action films. Nostalgia is the safe go-to for audiences of today, and Stallone knows this. Most of the man's career has revolved around him playing the same roles for over 30 years. The trailer came out and it was extremely promising. Bringing in actors like Schwarzenegger, Dolph Lundgren, Bruce Willis and what do you know? Stallone was even directing, a man who had proved himself a competent action director. Even of recent years, Rambo IV was pretty awesome. Ironically however, these 80s stars created something as dull and humourless as today's modern action films. Where was the fun? Where was the one liners? What should have been a spectacle piece with soul was a shaky-cam filled ride of nauseating proportions. Sure there were some small moments of fun, but they were few and far between...

2/10: The Expendables trilogy now has...
Sunday, August 3, 2014

The Expendables trilogy now has its Godfather III First off, nobody expects a film like The Expendables to be amazing. Even the cast and writers are aware of it, which is why the first two movies in the series succeeded. They were merely an excuse for our favourite childhood action stars to blast people's brains apart and utter cringe-worthy one-liners, and sold themselves as such, and that's why the series worked in the first place. The series was pure trash and it embraced it, and so did we. I mean, how can anyone expect a film with a scene where Chuck Norris makes a Chuck Norris joke to be anything deep? If we want Shakespeare, we'll watch Shakespeare, simple as that. And so it leads you to wonder exactly how on earth The Expendables 3 ended up the way it did. The first red flags were raised when it was announced earlier this year that...

7/10: Nice to see so many...
Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Nice to see so many stars on one frame After the last movie, Barney goes on freeing one of his old team members, Doc. And on their next assignment there's a surprise, the target of the op turns out to be Stonebanks, Barney's presumed dead old teammate, who is still alive and now is a big shot arms dealer. Stonebanks get a clean shot at Barney but instead shot Caesar to get to Barney's mind. Stonebans' trick worked, Barney feels that he's not into losing anyone else close anymore, and decides to break up the team that's been with him since the first movie. He then contacts Bonaparte, and together they recruit young guns to make a new team. With the new team, they take on Stonebanks again and succeeded. But Stonebanks apparently has a tracker with him and the team gets ambushed on a bridge. Barney was tossed into the river while the youngsters...

4/10: Forced PG-13 rating and...
Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Forced PG-13 rating and adding young nobodies doesn't work I didn't think much of the first two Expendable movies but I was curious how the next installment of this movie would turn out. The 'PG-13' rating worried me but the addition of Wesley Snipes, Antonio Banderas and Harrison Ford to the team might make up for it.. right? In the opening scene of The Expendables 3 we see the old team (Stallone -> Barney, Lundgren -> Gunner, Statham -> Christmass, Couture -> Road and Crews -> Caesar) on a missions to rescue Doc (Snipes) from a train. Doc is happy to go home but learns from Barney that they're underway to another mission and just needed one more man for the job. Doc agrees however, and the team goes to Somalia to stop an arms dealer unloading some bombs. While the mission goes more or less to plan, Barney is shocked to see that the arms dealer is none other...

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