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Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)

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2/10: terrible, stupid, ridiculous
Wednesday, June 29, 2011

i checked IMDb today after i came home from the cinema, and saw that the movie has almost 7 points... i just had to register to write this review.It was absolutely terrible. In advance, i'd like to apologize for using the world "ridiculous" too many times, but that's the best one to describe this masterpiece. of course one would expect that a story about 30 m high robots is a little bit ridiculous, but it was really over the top. After things started going, there wasn't a single minute in the film where something utterly ridiculous did not happen. So many examples... I'll list some of them and some of my problemsthe chick checks the 2 evil robots with the spyglass, sees that they have an argument. later on, she decides to turn megatron against the bearded guy (the super villain high tech robot megatron), and she persuades him. yeah, that's right. that's...

2/10: Ugh
Thursday, June 30, 2011

Minor spoilers and bad guy ultimate plot revealed in last paragraph, but it's so stupid you want to know it. Long and rant filled review.Let's start with 10 stars.Rosie and Shia wouldn't know how to fake chemistry if someone wrapped a lead pipe in the periodic table and beat them upside their botoxed faces for an hour. The romance part is so awful, so cheesy in this movie, it takes down a star right off the bat. I will also mention the "romance" between Optimus Prime and America - the "one and only real and holy country in the world". *puke* 9 / 10.Rosie has to be mentioned again as a standalone entry. I can imagine how the casting went.. Bay walks into modeling agency, closes his eyes and says "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, you're the clone that comes along!", thereby picking out the 403rd pair of tits in the lineup. A horrible actress, pretentious...

2/10: Where will the explosions stop
Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Around a half hour into watching the third installment in the Michael Bay driven Transformers franchise, a very serious thought entered my head."What the f*** is this movie?"I really am not sure where to begin when discussing such a chaotic mess that seemed like a 6 hour movie stuffed into a two and a half hour potato sack and beaten repeatedly with a pillow case filled with bars of soap.I guess we can start with the goals that seemed to be laid out in making this third film.First off, action and CGI were, without a doubt, the number one priority in this film. This makes complete sense. The action and CGI is really exciting to look at and a getaway for some viewers when they see a film; robots transforming from cars, buildings collapsing from the sky, soldiers flying into battle in wing suits, and what must have been thousands of explosions all in 3D.The...

1/10: Dear Mr Bay - Transformers 3
Friday, July 8, 2011

Dear Mr Bay After recently viewing your latest movie I couldn't help but feel you need a few tips on: a) General movie making and plot writing b) Making a Transformers movie Although I know nothing of these I feel I could still do a much, much better job than you did with your latest movie. So here goes.To begin with, when writing a plot it is often a very good idea to stick with a few simple ideas, unless you're making Inception but please don't try this, as I'm already cringing at thought. As you have probably found, or will soon find, people don't like it when you try to add little pieces together to make one big whole, this just doesn't work out to be a good story, or a very well thought out story. Hence the gaping plot holes in your latest story. For example, if the Decepticons had been...

6/10: Transformers 3: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Man, so much stuff happens in this damn movie. One can only scratch the surface of what the movie has to offer when reviewing it. The best I can do is list the best and worst of it.The GoodThe best thing about these movies is how they look, how well the transformers integrate into the real-life footage to make a compelling action sequence. Here it's cranked to eleven, and the CG is very impressive. On the larger shots, even tiny transformers far in the background look convincing.There a several action set pieces (specifically towards the end) which are easily some of the best of the trilogy. The whole scene with the collapsing building and the tracking shot of Optimus slicing and smashing his way through a bunch of decepticons are colossal showstoppers.This is also one of the best 3D movies to date. One major critique of 3D is that 3D glasses make the film darker...

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