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Two If by Sea (1996)


6/10: Movies that are panned can sometimes be enjoyed
Thursday, July 27, 2006

Of course, I'm from Boston and Dennis' in-jokes about Bostonians gets me, especially since I've seen the Roast of Leary. And anyone who puts out a fund for firemen has my vote, as Dennis does. I loved the ode to plasterers so subtly portrayed in the finale.I also loved his deliberate skewering of the rich folks at the cocktail party, but wouldn't it be nice just once if a writer (Leary) once said to himself: "What is the movie audience expecting here? What can I put in here that would destroy this?" How about 2 rich folks who could confront him with his deliberate "How can I best offend you?" manners, showing that it is HE who may be the reverse snob? REquires perhaps more subtlety than Dennis has. He is a great writer for 'all guys, all the time' shows: so how about something confronting his homophobic or even homophilic attitudes? I ask too...

2/10: Two if Not in This Film
Monday, April 27, 2015

Two if by Sea (1996): Dir: Bill Bennett / Cast: Denis Leary, Sandra Bullock, Stephen Dillane, Yaphet Kotto, Mike Starr: One of the lamest titles in recent memory as if the writer thought it poetic that Denis Leary and Sandra Bullock break up if they did not live by a frigging beach. They play thieves who are delivering a rare expensive painting to their boss. After losing police they shack up in a deserted house. Bullock begins to question her lifestyle and is charmed by another man. Leary does everything to prove his loyalty. Director Bill Bennett does a stylish job but the screenplay would make better toilet paper. Leary makes an attempt to learn other skills that don't involve cheating, stealing and robbing but he soon must stand up for his relationship. Bullock wants out of the unlawful lifestyle yet is easily charmed by deceptive males. We hardly care about this. The ending is hardly believable and makes one...

3/10: Yaphet Kotto shines, but Bullock stinks
Thursday, February 8, 2001

Bullock fans will be greatly disappointed, wonder why she accepted such a stupid part. Generally the presence of Yaphet Kotto in a film is enough to spark my interest; prior to seeing this film, Bullock had also begun to have that sort of status for me. She is excellent two or three films, but hasn't done much since "Speed" which really merits attention. My brother, who is in the film trade in Hollywood, told me Bullock had fired her manager or agent, after drawing lots of attention for a few successful roles. Apparently this agent was the one who selected roles for Bullock which best brought her charm to the screen. Maybe she felt too stereotyped as "America's Sweetheart" or the next "Audrey Hepburn" -- I don't know. But her business sense, her apparent lack of concern about being given poor roles or stupid and disgusting lines in them, especially in this movie -- have completely destroyed my interest...

1/10: Worst movie I've seen in years. And I watch many
Sunday, November 7, 2010

Granted, I've never been a huge Bullock fan. The best she has done where she had to act were the Congeniality movies. The Net, Demolition Man, that one where she played Harper Lee, all terrible. I've always tended to enjoy Denis Leary. Well, his movies, not necessarily his coked up stand up routine. So this movie could've gone either way for me. However, it turned out to actually be one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Not a moment of the story was original, it plods along at a god-awful pace, the acting is sub-par. Everything about this movie is embarrassing. Or at least should be to those involved. Oh, and the theme of the ending would appear to be: "If you don't like what he is, annoy him until he changes into the man you want him to be." Because this always works in life right? Give Leary's character one...

6/10: like the leads
Thursday, December 17, 2020

Frank O'Brien (Denis Leary) and Roz (Sandra Bullock) are a low class petty-thieving couple. They stole a $4 million Matisse on contract with his cousin Beano Callahan and are on the run from the cops. Only they don't know its true value and the plan is to sell it for $20k with $10k being their share. They are running to meet the buyer on an island in Rhode Island and being pursued by FBI Agent O'Malley (Yaphet Kotto).The bickering couple has an underlying promise of fun. I don't know if they actually achieve fun. I can't tell if I actually like this couple or just the two actors playing the couple. The filmmaking is rather lackluster with badly staged physical comedy. It's not obviously bad but it's not doing anything right. I like the criminals' ineptness. I don't like the unfunny inept cops. I would get rid of the boy...

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