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247°F (2011)

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5/10: Uncreative, one-dimensional
Thursday, October 18, 2012

247°F is as straightforward a horror movie as you'll ever see. It's uninventive and feels like a giant missed opportunity. In fact, as the movie wears on (and on) one starts to believe that there's Something behind our protagonists' troubles - but alas, if there is, it's trivial.Most of the movie is set in a homemade sauna. Jenna, her friend Renee, Renee's boyfriend Michael, and Michael's friend Ian have zipped over to a remote island to stay in Ian's uncle's cabin for the weekend. Concurrently, it is the weekend of the May Day celebrations, apparently a big deal in the nearby towns, and Wade the uncle is involved with the setup of the festivities.We learn a few things about our main characters right away. Jenna, meant to be the protagonist, is anxious, shy, withdrawn; flashbacks show us (in the first scenes) that her fiancé' was killed in an auto accident...

2/10: Too crap for a horror film, too good for a Bad film
Tuesday, January 10, 2017

If you thought this film would be good for a laugh, you're mistaken. It's really bad, but it doesn't cross that threshold like Birdemic.A lot of the stuff is professionally done. The acting is mixed, some good actors, some bad, but the bad is not enough to ruin the picture. The sound is fairly clear, the lighting is fine, there are no technical gaffes.The dialogue has a strange feeling like it was written by someone who isn't a native speaker. The grammar is correct, but the usage is off. This is not saying that non- native English speakers can't write English dialogues, but natural sounding dialogues are no easy feat that even Hollywood hires dialogue specialists. There is another layer of strangeness in the dialogue in that it feels like it is influenced by TV and films rather than regular speech. It's not enough to be a deal-breaker, but it was...

4/10: Dud, dud, dud
Friday, October 19, 2012

Maybe I'm just watching too many movies. This past week has been full of under-performing duds for me. I love horror flicks but I'm really struggling to find good ones lately. I thought 247 degrees actually at least looked like it had a low budget, decent story, interesting concept and some eye candy. All of that is true except the decent story part. It does have decent actors and the characters have some depth although the entire back story of the main girl feels forced and pointless. You know with the opening scene that its going to play a part in the story but it ultimately matters very little. They could have explained that arc in her story with just a few sentences of dialogue. Once they get everyone into the sauna and things could get interesting...it just doesn't. It almost completely falls apart. One reviewer stated that this could have been summed in a...

3/10: It's difficult to warm to 247°F
Monday, October 15, 2012

Four friends gather for a weekend trip that turns into a nightmare when three of them end up stuck inside of a sauna.There's not much to go on other than that for a synopsis but movies banking on a claustrophobic vibe have tackled even bigger challenges. One only has to think about Buried, featuring Ryan Reynolds all alone and six feet under. A good screenplay featuring rich characters and interesting conflicts could probably have carried 247°F but unfortunately, this wasn't the case here.247°F features cookie-cutter protagonists who follow the usual formula but without much savvy and no heart. Of course, you've got the prototypical troubled girl as the main character. Her carefree hot female friend. The cynical jock who is the hottie's insensitive boyfriend and of course, the more down to earth dude who may or may not hook up with our heroin.Georgia is a country that more and more...

5/10: Sweating bullets
Sunday, April 7, 2013

As a devout Horror fan, I watch many films of all kinds and sub-genres, and try to make a point of experiencing as many different types as possible. More often than not, I find myself disagreeing with IMDb's reviews and ratings. However, when it comes to this film, I can easily understand why your usual spectator would be unhappy.Many Horror films fail to achieve the full effect of their potential on account of failing to suspend disbelief, or in other words – even if the acting is phenomenal and the characters are realistic, human and lovable, the presented scenario is too "far from home", esoteric and fantastic to make the audience really relate and imagine themselves in the same situation (for instance, any vampire/zombie/monster film, most torture-porn and even most killer/slasher films). 247°F, on the other hand, suffers from the exact opposite problem – it describes a situation which feels way too ordinary, therefore...

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