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Sorority Row (2009)


3/10: Not very good remake of a not very good slasher film
Thursday, April 19, 2012

Sorority Row starts late one night at a party at the Theta Phi sorority house on Ransom University, five of the top sorority girl's play a prank on a boy named Garrett (Matt O'Leary) the cheating boyfriend of Megan (Audrina Patridge) who lets him think that they are going to have sex together. The other four girl's have given Garrett a pill to give to Megan, although harmless Megan plays dead & Garrett panics. Garrett & the other girls decide to take Megan to hospital but they end up at a disused quarry when they claim Megan is dead. They continue to play the joke on Garrett & agree to dispose of the body after cutting it up, however the prank backfires when Garrett stabs Megan in the chest killing her for real. Garrett & the other four sorority girls decide to throw Megan's body down an old well & make a pact not to tell anyone else for fear of...

1/10: Fails to graduate
Tuesday, September 8, 2009

There's a tiny, otherwise throwaway scene in Sorority Row that pretty much nails the appeal of this particular subset of slasher. As the Rosman University campus erupts in a shower of booze, barfing and bubble-bath during a graduation party, a cowled hooded figure in a black graduation gown wends its way through the throng. Could it be the serial killer who's been picking off the sorority girls and their boyfriends? As the ominous music swells and crescendos, the cowl is suddenly flung off to reveal... a half-naked babe with big jiggling funbags! Wha-hey! And there you have it: the timeless confluence of sex and death could hardly be made more crassly explicit. If only there was as much substance to the rest of the movie.As we join them, the honey pies of Theta Pi, including queen bitch Jessica (Leah Pipes), five-boys-nightly Chugs (Margo Harshman) and bookish Ellie (Rumer Willis) - a "spellchecker with...

7/10: Mean Girls meets Black Christmas with a mix of I Know What You Did Last Summer, it's a bloody good time
Monday, September 21, 2009

You know what's so strange? Even though I had wanted to see this movie, I was expecting it to be bad, from the trailer, you just knew it was going to be stupid. I still was curious to what it was going to be like and I possibly had one of the best times in a theater watching this movie. I think because we've had so many of these slasher films that everything is so clich├ęd and you know what to expect, this was a way of doing all that but keeping it fast paced. It poked fun at itself and gave exactly what it should have to it's audience. Not to mention this has possibly one of my new most favorite characters of all time, Jessica. This girl is the ultimate nasty mean b-tch that you know should be killed, but I didn't want her too, she was awesome and hilarious. She led the...

3/10: Sorority Row
Thursday, April 5, 2012

I'm not sure whether I heard about this film during the time of its release or not, but I saw clips of it, and I do like to try the occasional scary movie with a distinctive title. Basically sorority sister Megan Blaire (Audrina Patridge) has found out that her boyfriend Garrett Bradley (Matt O'Leary) had cheated on her, and with the help of her sorority friends Cassidy Tappan (Briana Evigan), Jessica Pierson (Leah Pipes), Ellie Morris (Rumer Willis, daughter of Bruce and Demi Moore), Claire Wen (Jamie Chung) and Charlene 'Chugs' Bradley (Margo Harshman) help her get revenge. The plan is for Megan to fake her death by pretending to overdose on pills, they will dump her body in the lake, and she will eventually come back and freak him out, but when they get to a steel mill this goes horribly wrong when Garrett stabs his girlfriend and she dies for real. The sorority sisters and he...

2/10: A remake that should haven't been revamp and it shows
Friday, October 9, 2009

Sorority Row" is the bland remake of 1983's "The House on Sorority Row",provided more laughs than screams,as five close sisters accidentally have their close friend murdered in a prank gone amiss and vow to keep it secret. And if you think that sounds corny and done-to-death,the sisters actually justify their actions by Theta Pi's motto "Trust,respect,honor,solidarity,secrecy." Quite convenient for the lead bimbo Jessica(Leah Pipes)whose desire to impress her boyfriend's senator father causes her to take her callous manipulation to the maximum.And Surprise,Surprise-this little plan comes back to haunt the sisters. It's idiocy all around with a mysterious murderer who starts it all by stabbing the supposedly dead body with a tire iron. How is that supposed to help at all? The moment-which was meant to be suspenseful and surprising-only makes the audience laugh at this bumbling wimp. Resting heavily on...

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