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House of the Dead 2 (2006)

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4/10: Mildly amusing A college professor...
Friday, February 17, 2006

Mildly amusing A college professor is working on creating zombies and, wouldn't you know it, things go horribly wrong. Next thing you know, the whole campus is overrun. Thank goodness there's a pair of uber-commandos trained for just such a situation. Too bad they must be accompanied by a group of moron-commandos, lead by a rapper (he doesn't even bother trying to play a military guy, he just responds to his superiors as if he were rappin' wit' da homies in da hood). The high point of this part of the movie is the locker room scene. The male and female moron-commandos share the same locker room, and apparently military regulations require all females to wear black bras and panties. Hey, if you can't make a good movie, at least you can have women in their underwear. My hat's off to the film makers.So, after much discussion of how well prepared...

3/10: Worst than the first...and...
Thursday, April 9, 2009

Worst than the first...and that's sad...*Possible Spoilers* I saw the first House of the Dead and expected a root canal to be more pleasant to attend, so when it wasn't as bad as that, I was delightfully surprised.Unfortunately, I then got my hopes up that the second one might be okay as well...and I was wrong.Apparently I'm one of the few people who saw this movie that thinks it was bad.I don't know whether to watch it again and force myself to see whatever all the people who gave it good reviews saw, or wonder if I saw the wrong movie.Ed Quinn as Ellis and Emmanuelle Vaugier as Alexandra 'Nightingale' Morgan did a great job in roles that were way beneath them. They deserve to be in better movies.The special effects were okay and some of the characters likable/hate-able and that made for a tolerable watch...

3/10: Three times better than the...
Thursday, September 14, 2006

Three times better than the original I was on a mission to watch Uwe Boll movies to see if they were really as bad as all that. The first one I saw, BloodRayne, was not a complete loss. I liked it more than most people, and actually rated it a 4 out of 10. Next up was the first House of the Dead movie. Now THAT was horrifically bad. I could stand watching ten minutes of it, and fast-forwarding a bit, and that was it. I could see where it was going and I didn't need to see any more of it in order to rate it a just 1 out of 10.But I had access to the sequel, too (which however is not by Uwe Boll, but, mysteriously, written by the same guys who so incompetently wrote the first one), and since it got a higher rating at IMDb than the original, I thought I'd...

5/10: Solid B-movie Having never...
Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Solid B-movie Having never seen the original, I found this sequel to be a competent little B-movie in its own right. Of course it has its flaws: it doesn't really bring anything new to the zombie sub-genre, there is a lack of genuine scares, and the script screws up the timeline near the end (before going to the university for the second time, the three leads say they only have 10 minutes before the government blasts the whole place with missiles, but they take A LOT more time to go in there and get the blood sample they need). But it still has enough suspense, humor and gore to please those who know what they're getting into. The casting is solid: I particularly liked Emmanuelle Vaugier, who not only looks like a perfect video game heroine in her uniform and ponytail, but also handles her guns in a very confident, no-nonsense manner - like an...

1/10: Sticky Fingaz When one of...
Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Sticky Fingaz When one of the stars of a movie is named Sticky Fingaz, you should know enough to stay away. Stay away. HOUSE 2 is just more of the same, this time with zombies overrunning a college campus (man, how that must have saved on money). As usual, the "zombies" are given no direction so speak of, and provided very little makeup or costuming. They look like the zombies in one of those endless Italian zombie cheapies from years ago. Which is to say, they don't look like the kind of zombies we know and love from George Romero and Dan O'Bannon zombie flicks. The folks battling the zombies are all nonactors who get to shoot guns and do little else. Some who have written here feel the sequel is slightly more focused than the original. All I have to say is I'm glad the sequel's director did away with the 360-degree pan shots...

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