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The Dead Don't Die (2019)


1/10: Beyond boring and stupid
Sunday, March 21, 2021

My girlfriend has HBO+, so on "date night" yesterday evening we decided to watch The Dead Don't Die. We didn't know anything about the movie, but we assumed with such an excellent cast it had to be decent. Boy, were we wrong. Before I get lectures from Jim Jarmusch fans, I've seen some of his other movies and have enjoyed them.The Dead Don't Die gives an entirely new meaning to the word "boring." Slow-paced is one thing, stupefyingly dull is another. The wooden acting from some of my favorites doesn't help, but very, very little happens in the movie, and when it does, the action is pretty boring and predictable, too. People sit around, stand around, and drive around with expressionless faces mouthing pointless expository dialog even though there's not much to expose. The scenery is pretty, which is about the only positive.The environmentalist and anti-consumerism message is heavy-handed...

4/10: Boring, bland and pretentous
Friday, May 31, 2019

This movie is a waste of time - do yourself a favor and dont watch it. The suggested humor from the trailer is constantly missfiring, dull and repetitive. You are supposed to laugh at usage of the same line thats repeated over and over until the last person rolls his eyes in agony. Sarcastic remarks are made to hit the audience over the head with the absurdity of the situation, thrown in with some blunt 4th wall breaking. Nothing works, not even the acting. While the main cast is supposed to be almost apathic at the outbreak of a zombie apacolypse, it geniuely kills the mood and every sense of drama or tension. After this you will wonder if Adam Driver cant really act and Bill Murray was high or thinking about his paycheck the while time.There are no pay-offs to character arcs and they push some weird social commentary over the cause of the outbreak thats so mindnumbingly...

9/10: A Definite Love It or Hate It Movie
Saturday, August 1, 2020

I completely understand all the low ratings and reviews. This is definitely a movie that if you don't like it, you are going to absolutely hate it. It is very dry comedy with lots of deadpan and significant fourth wall breaking. If you don't find anything amusing in the first 10 minutes, then you should probably move on to something else.Over the top political commentary. Side stories that go absolutely nowhere and are seemingly just forgotten. Random plots events that make no sense to the rest of the movie. All things I normally hate in a movie, but this time it just works. The reason for this is a fourth wall break that you don't initially realize is a fourth wall break. Very early in the movie and throughout it, Adam Driver's character says, "This isn't going to end well." It isn't obvious that he's talking about the movie itself. So when...

8/10: How A Zombie Apocalypse Would ACTUALLY Go
Thursday, June 6, 2019

Wow, most of these reviewers have either obviously never seen a Jim Jarmusch film or seem to understand this wasn't meant to be some laugh out loud big budget comedy or the same old zombie movie.This is how a zombie apocalypse would actually occur. There would be no heroes, every normal human who is weird or quirky, angry, or downright boring would be affected, and there would be no happy ending. It would end the way the film does, exactly the way you would expect it to: immediate, bloody, and uneventful. It's just like every day life would be, except with zombies killing you. Boring, routine, ordinary, ends with you going to bed.This film is a brilliant commentary on not just public consumption, but society in general and the state of entitlement of instant gratification. If you come in looking for THAT, you'll be sorely disappointed. Just enjoy the show

1/10: One of the worst films I've ever seen. People left the theater halfway through
Thursday, June 20, 2019

I would highly avoid seeing this. It's slow with a stupid plot that goes nowhere. Saw about 10 people walk out of the theatre. Bill Murray was not funny at all. The film tries to repeat dumb jokes that aren't funny. Random UFO shows up and takes away a Scottish Samurai funeral director. Side plots that go nowhere and wastes about 20 minutes of the movie. The entire cast was wasted, just like the two hours of my life watching this trash of a movie. This was not art, but it was a big middle finger to anyone who had to sit through it. It's almost as if the director wanted to make the worst movie ever just to say "I made the worst movie ever." Why release this to theaters? It should of been free on Netflix. Then you could at least turn it off and pick something better to watch

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